Dream Entry #3: Fishy

The other night I had a dream that I was in my old kitchen, changing the water in the bowl of a fish I used to have. I have never in my life dreamt about this fish, so the fact that I have accessed it through my subconscious would seem to mean something. The fish in the dream, however, was not my fish that I used to have, Fattie Herbie. It was a different fish, and I remember respecting it as a life form without any specific attachment to it. As I changed the water, I dropped the fish, and it was flopping around. If you've ever had a fish, and changed the water, this is disturbing to see, yet it is not hard to catch the fish and put it back, so it isn't that big of a deal. In this dream, I could not for the life of me catch the fish. I started to worry because the fish began to die. After some time, I finally caught the fish and put it back in the bowl. It is important to note also, that in the dream timing was correct. That means that I had remembered this fish from about ten years ago. In the dream I thought, "This fish's water has not been changed in ten years! I'm surprised he's not dead!" which indicates that this is an example of something from my extended past, or at least something from my recent past manifesting in a more obvious symbol that just so happened to be present in my life a long time ago. When I put the fish back in the bowl, it seemed fine, however there was something wrong with it. Half of the fish had fallen off. I started to freak out because I thought it was going to die. However, though the tail kind of floated around as if it was half of a fish, a new tail grew on the head of the goldfish and it was more complete and healthier than ever. The old tail just kind of swam around as if it was inferior.

According to my dream dictionary "The Dictionary of Dreams; 10,000 dreams interpreted", by Gustavus Hindman Miller:

Goldfish
"To dream of goldfish is a prognostic of many successful and pleasant adventures. For a young woman, this dream is indicative of a wealthy union with a pleasing man. If the fish are sick or dead, heavy disappointments will fall upon her."

Lately I have been contemplating a great deal on what I want, and what I want to focus on. The prospect, currently, of a romantic relationship is not a priority for me. Being used to being with someone romantically, what has been on the forefront of my mind is how strange relationships are, and how love is an intellectual and creative interpretation of a biological desire. I do not believe in soulmates, but I do believe that people cross eachother's paths, even romantically, for certain reasons. This is why sometimes we intuitively feel that for the moment, something seems incredibly right, but to accept the fact that it may not be a lasting thing is hard to do.

This dream could mean many things. The reason I was struggling so hard with something that should have been easy to catch, indicates my current emotions about a past relationship. I felt very connected to this person, and continually thought, "This feels so right, but it is not right." I could not reconcile the dueling emotions. Something that felt so incredibly right and perfect, I knew deep inside that it was wrong. Catching the fish, which should have been easy, was impossible. Finally, I was able to catch it, and put it back in the bowl, where I had to nurse it back to health. The disembodied tail is another aspect to this dream.

According to the same dictionary:

Tail
"To dream of only seeing the tail of a beast, indicates annoyances where pleasure should have been assured."

This makes an incredible amount of sense. I feel that it represents the aforementioned emotion. I wanted to be happy with someone, and it seemed like things were great, but suddenly the dynamic between myself and the other person was plagued by miscommunication and unfavorable/irreconcilable feelings. The goldfish, however grew a new tail, and was again perfectly healthy. This could indicate that someone else more favorable may come into my life, and the disembodied tail will die, meaning my preoccupation with this relationship/person may come to an end, or that this same relationship will shed itself of its negative aspects and be reborn in a positive manner.