The Rock

Last night I had a dream that I was climbing a rock by the sea. I used to do this a lot when I was little. My friends and I would go really far out and in retrospect it was probably dangerous (but you can't keep kids from enjoying their youth!). It reminded me of this, because back then even though the rocks were high, I was very young, and felt invincible, and did not have any fear. During the dream, there were easier ways to get to where I was trying to get to, but I took the hard way because I wanted to challenge myself. I was not afraid, and in moments where I almost felt fear, or looked down, I recomposed myself and maintained confidence. I had known that confidence and strength were all I needed to get up on top of the rocks and onto the green land above. There was a moment when a rock I had climbed on fell after I passed it. When I watched it go down, I noticed the rock was red, and that some of the other rocks were wobbly. Again, this happened after a moment of fear, so I just tried not to be afraid, and found myself climbing with ease. In my teenage years, I climbed many things (I like to climb things!) knowing that it was dangerous. The experience in real life is the same as that in the dream, however in the dream the rock was much much bigger, and the highest thing I had ever climbed. I was by myself, but then I suddenly noticed that about five old people were following me. I was very afraid for them, and knew that they should not be following the way I was going. So I told them that if they climbed the area to the left they would get on land safer than if they were do as I did. They listened to me and did as I said. There was also a bridge that I was trying to get to, and I watched the older people reach it before I did.

Break down of the symbolism in this dream: (according to dreammoods.com)

Elderly
"To see an elderly person in your dream, represents wisdom or spiritual power. Pay attention to the message or advise that they are conveying you. They help provide life answers and solutions to your problems and try to guide you toward the right direction"

Rock
"To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointment"

Red
"Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions."

Bridge
"To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one. If you fall off the bridge and into the water, then the dream indicates that you are letting your emotions hold you back and prevent you from moving forward. Alternatively, the bridge may indicate that you are trying to "bridge" or connect two things together."

Sea
"To see the sea in your dream, represents your unconscious and your transition between your unconscious and conscious. It also often represents your emotions."

The meaning of this dream is relatively simple. The sea, representing emotions, is a symbol of a state of mind that I am trying to get away from, to reach something higher. It is down below, almost a metaphor for the physical world. Going down there would mean death. In my pursuit of attaining something higher/better, there are indeed moments of fear, represented by the falling red rock. It is possible that if I am afraid I will not make it, and will stay primarily in the physical world, which is one of personality, material things, and ego. I am currently trying to balance both worlds, that of the spiritual/immaterial and that of the material/personality. I very much want to attain a higher state and a higher understanding, overcome my worldly desires while still being able to respect that part of myself, and allow myself to be involved in that world without being "attached" to it. The old people following me, I feel that they are a symbol of wisdom, of a higher force that is watching out for me. However, I told them to go away, play it safe. I believe that this means, even if that higher force wants to travel with me, I must experience having faith in it without having evidence that it is there. This is a metaphysical journey that I have to carry out on my own, knowing that this wisdom/force will be there at the bridge waiting for me when I am ready to cross it. The bridge is a symbol of what is ahead for me. Once I have "climbed the rock" I will be ready to embark on the bridge, and cross over from that struggle to something better, which is also something that I am yet to know of or experience.

The Glass Store.

In this dream I was on my way to meet a friend. I stopped by this store that was filled with different kinds of glasswares, mostly antique and collectibles, like depression, cranberry and carnival glass. Having a vague interest in these kinds of glass in waking life, I decided to step into the store, even though it meant I would be late in meeting my friend. On this chair, that was just there to furnish the store there was a life-sized doll. There was a man waiting across from the doll for assistance from the store owner. The doll began to move, first slowly. It's legs were twitching. The man asked if I had seen the doll move. I said yes. Then, the face became slightly animated, and the doll began to foam at the mouth. It seemed sickly, as if it were dying, though ironically it seemed also that it was trying to come to life. The doll then spoke, noticing our confusion. It said that the energy that was giving it life was just the chi that is imposed on material items when trying to make something that replicates a living thing. It seemed annoyed with this phenomenon that it was attempting to explain to us. It's "life" phased out and it was motionless once more. I woke up.

According to dreammoods.com:

Doll
"To dream that a doll comes to life, signifies your desires to be someone else and escape from your present problems and responsibilities. Dolls may serve as a means to act out your wishes."

Glasswares
"To see a drinking glass in your dream, signifies healing, rejuvenation, and healing. Alternatively, it indicates a transcendence into a realm of higher consciousness. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Do you see life from an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. Consider also the contents of the glass. To see a broken glass in your dream, denotes feelings of powerlessness, guilt and/or low self-esteem. Perhaps you feel unqualified or inadequate in dealing with a situation."

I believe that being in the glass store, which had a very ethereal feel to it, was a symbolic attempt at sacrificing the world of responsibilities by not meeting my friend, to take time for something important. I believe the glass store represents my current desire to connect to something spiritual, which is manifested in the doll (which I somehow, even in the dream, knew was myself; she resembled me) by the doll, a material object, coming to life. I do not think in this dream that the doll means that I want to be someone else, but I do believe the doll represents my external personality, possibly meaning that I *feel* currently, like someone else and disconnected from my true self. She may also represent my outward personality, or ego, which is momentarily tiresome for me, which explains why the doll became frustrated when she was talking about her "animation"; a symbol of my current feelings on "living." Because I have not had enough time for reflection or spiritual pursuits, she represents my frustration in my involvement in the material world.

Henry Fuseli

This is The Nightmare, a visual commentary on the phenomenon of sleep paralysis.

This is The Old Hag, referring to the legend of the succubus.

Dream Entry #3: Fishy

The other night I had a dream that I was in my old kitchen, changing the water in the bowl of a fish I used to have. I have never in my life dreamt about this fish, so the fact that I have accessed it through my subconscious would seem to mean something. The fish in the dream, however, was not my fish that I used to have, Fattie Herbie. It was a different fish, and I remember respecting it as a life form without any specific attachment to it. As I changed the water, I dropped the fish, and it was flopping around. If you've ever had a fish, and changed the water, this is disturbing to see, yet it is not hard to catch the fish and put it back, so it isn't that big of a deal. In this dream, I could not for the life of me catch the fish. I started to worry because the fish began to die. After some time, I finally caught the fish and put it back in the bowl. It is important to note also, that in the dream timing was correct. That means that I had remembered this fish from about ten years ago. In the dream I thought, "This fish's water has not been changed in ten years! I'm surprised he's not dead!" which indicates that this is an example of something from my extended past, or at least something from my recent past manifesting in a more obvious symbol that just so happened to be present in my life a long time ago. When I put the fish back in the bowl, it seemed fine, however there was something wrong with it. Half of the fish had fallen off. I started to freak out because I thought it was going to die. However, though the tail kind of floated around as if it was half of a fish, a new tail grew on the head of the goldfish and it was more complete and healthier than ever. The old tail just kind of swam around as if it was inferior.

According to my dream dictionary "The Dictionary of Dreams; 10,000 dreams interpreted", by Gustavus Hindman Miller:

Goldfish
"To dream of goldfish is a prognostic of many successful and pleasant adventures. For a young woman, this dream is indicative of a wealthy union with a pleasing man. If the fish are sick or dead, heavy disappointments will fall upon her."

Lately I have been contemplating a great deal on what I want, and what I want to focus on. The prospect, currently, of a romantic relationship is not a priority for me. Being used to being with someone romantically, what has been on the forefront of my mind is how strange relationships are, and how love is an intellectual and creative interpretation of a biological desire. I do not believe in soulmates, but I do believe that people cross eachother's paths, even romantically, for certain reasons. This is why sometimes we intuitively feel that for the moment, something seems incredibly right, but to accept the fact that it may not be a lasting thing is hard to do.

This dream could mean many things. The reason I was struggling so hard with something that should have been easy to catch, indicates my current emotions about a past relationship. I felt very connected to this person, and continually thought, "This feels so right, but it is not right." I could not reconcile the dueling emotions. Something that felt so incredibly right and perfect, I knew deep inside that it was wrong. Catching the fish, which should have been easy, was impossible. Finally, I was able to catch it, and put it back in the bowl, where I had to nurse it back to health. The disembodied tail is another aspect to this dream.

According to the same dictionary:

Tail
"To dream of only seeing the tail of a beast, indicates annoyances where pleasure should have been assured."

This makes an incredible amount of sense. I feel that it represents the aforementioned emotion. I wanted to be happy with someone, and it seemed like things were great, but suddenly the dynamic between myself and the other person was plagued by miscommunication and unfavorable/irreconcilable feelings. The goldfish, however grew a new tail, and was again perfectly healthy. This could indicate that someone else more favorable may come into my life, and the disembodied tail will die, meaning my preoccupation with this relationship/person may come to an end, or that this same relationship will shed itself of its negative aspects and be reborn in a positive manner.