The Baby

I will not analyze this dream right now, but for the sake of remembering it will recount it.

In the play that I just finished with, as art director, there was a puppet. This puppet was a grandmother puppet.

In the dream, I was walking down the sidewalk. This woman, who was wearing a black bonnet, and looked like this grandmother puppet, in terms of presence and dress, was pushing a stroller. She had tried to leave that stroller there, and take another empty stroller that she had planted behind me, so that when I turned around to see her (as she struck me as strange) I would see her going off with what looked like the same stroller. When I turned back around, she had left the previous stroller there with a baby in it. Naturally, I freaked out. The baby was extremely small. It was the size of my hand. I picked it up, and didn't know what to do with it, but I knew I had to protect it. I was searching for something, and it was raining and cold. I knew I needed to find shelter and clothing for it. Then, I ran into this man, who was unlike anyone I know in real life. I trusted him to take care of the baby, well I didn't really trust him, but for some reason I let him take it anyway. He mistreated it A LOT. He treated it like an animal that could fend for itself. He put it down at one point in this construction area that was made of wood, and the baby got splinters and started bleeding.

The baby, though harm was inflicted upon it, never flinched, or acted as though it was in pain. Ultimately, I was able to get away from the man and call the police. When 911 finally came, the baby turned into a kitten. I still cared for it, but not as much. It was as if the baby's humanity had been destroyed, and because it was treated like an animal, it was too late when help came, it had turned into an animal. The EMTs still tried to help it anyway, when they offered it help, it turned into a vicious dog/rodent type thing and would not let anyone near it. I was very sad for it, for it had started off as a little human baby and ultimately became a lost cause.

Addition:

Let us recount the archetypal imagery in this dream.

According to dreammoods.com:

Baby Carriage
"To see a baby carriage in your dream, symbolizes your desire for a family or longing for a baby. If the baby carriage is empty, then it indicates sadness or an unfulfilled goal. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to cater to the needs of your own inner child."

This is applicable to the dream in the sense that what was taken away was an empty carriage, by part of a successful project I had reached all my goals in. This emptiness or fear of not accomplishing things was taken way, and in its place was left a child, however small. I believe that this child represents myself in the sense that it was new, and very small. It was something that was born in me upon the accomplishment of my goals.

Baby
"To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses. Alternatively, forgetting about a baby, represents an aspect of yourself that you have abandoned or put aside due to life's changing circumstances. The dream may serve as a reminder that it is time for you to pick up that old interest, hobby, or project again.

To dream of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. You may be afraid to ask for help and as a result tend to take matters into your own hands."

This symbol applies in the sense that it represents my fear of my own potential and my fear of failure. Applicable to the project I had just finished, among other things, I feel that it represents the fact that I did have to take on many things myself, and needed help, but nobody could help me in the capacity that I had needed. This is not to say I did not have help, but I took on too much work for one person to handle.

Cat
To see a cat in your dream, symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. It also represents misfortune and bad luck. The dream symbol has different significance depending on whether you are a cat lover or not. The cat could indicate that someone is being deceitful or treacherous toward you. If the cat is aggressive, then it suggests that you are having problems with the feminine aspect of yourself. If you are afraid of the cat in your dream, then it suggests that you are fearful of the feminine. The dream may be a metaphor for "cattiness" or someone who is "catty" and malicious. If you see a cat with no tail, then it signifies a loss of independence and lack of autonomy.

Kitten
"To see a white kitten in your dream, signifies deceit and trouble.
To see non-white or soiled kittens, indicates trouble ahead for you."

In retrospect, I do believe that this means situations I since have gotten myself into, when my intuition told me to take a different path. Which ironically brings us to:

Dog
"If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it indicates some inner conflict within yourself. It may also indicate betrayal and untrustworthiness. If the dog is dead or dying, then it means a loss of a good friend or a deterioration of your instincts. Also consider common notions associated with the word dog, such as loyalty ("man's best friend") and to be "treated like a dog"."

Overall, considering such obvious archetypes applicable to my every day life, I believe that the dog is a culmination of all of these symbols, in a sense, the end of things representing that ever symbol prior was a factor that I needed to take serious heed of.

The Ocean

I had a dream that I was in the ocean. I often have these dreams, but usually the waves are overpowering. I enjoy it when they are overpowering, and I am always able to handle them. This dream was the first time the ocean was different, I feel like it has something to do with the oil spill; or perhaps that in relation as a macroscopic symbol in the world of my current emotions. The water was very dirty. I was walking around in it trying to find a spot that didn't have a lot of trash and black sludgy seaweed. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it. I wasn't catching any waves like the others. It seemed pointless to be there.

But in all the trash there was this beautiful little snail shell that shined from the ocean floor. When I went to pick it up I realized it still had a snail in it, and this made me even more delighted. I thought about that snail, and how it was a life, just clinging on to a little rock. And there is a part that I wrote in my story "The Human and the Universe," about snails and their shells. I think that the dream means I've been preoccupied with appearances, superficiality, and have not been paying attention to my inner self, and who I really am, and what I really want. This is what the ocean means according to dreammoods.com:

Ocean
To see an ocean in your dream, represents the state of your emotions and feelings. It is indicative of spiritual refreshment, tranquility and renewal. Alternatively, the dream means that you are feeling empowered and unhindered. You have a positive outlook in life and are not limited by anything. If you are sailing across the ocean, then it signifies new found freedom and independence. You are showing great courage. If the ocean is rough, then the dream represents some emotional turmoil. You are doing your best to handle life's ups and downs.

This is what trash means:

garbage indicates that you are not taking responsibility for something.
To see piles of garbage in your dream, represent rejected or unwanted aspects of yourself.
To find something valuable in the garbage, suggests that you can find value in the least expected of places. Do not undervalue or underestimate things. The dream may also be telling you that one man's trash is another man's treasure. Perhaps you need to view things from a different perspective.

Before I went to bed, I asked the Universe (my version of what others call God) to send me a sign on where I need to go, and what I need to be doing. I think it's asking me to start changing my mind and my outlook first and foremost.

The Trees

I haven't had many dreams in a while. This is because I'm going through a difficult period and filling it with pleasures of the physical world. I am ignoring myself. I had a dream the other night, when I had asked for guidance, that was definitely a tell-tale sign of the power I have within myself. Once again I have felt left for dead from that thing I call the universe; that thing that others call God.

In this dream I was with a good friend of mine. There were giant evergreen trees that had drooping branches. I asked my friend why the branches were drooping and she said that we could fix them. I told her that was impossible. She answered that it wasn't, and that all we had to do was lift one branch, and then just ask them or tell them to go up. So I did this, and I said, "Go up!" and all the branches of all the trees lifted up to reach the sky!

According to dreammoods.com:

Evergreen
To see evergreen trees in your dream, signify wealth, happiness, immortality, high aspirations, and knowledge. The dream represents the cycle of life and may be trying to offer you hope in the midst of despair. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor to be "ever green" as in to be more environmentally conscious.

I believe that in this dream the trees were representative of my current situation, mentally and in my position in life. I feel that recognizing the power to lift the trees is something trying to tell me that I have to once again access that divine power within to change my life. It is telling me that anything is possible.

The Rock

Last night I had a dream that I was climbing a rock by the sea. I used to do this a lot when I was little. My friends and I would go really far out and in retrospect it was probably dangerous (but you can't keep kids from enjoying their youth!). It reminded me of this, because back then even though the rocks were high, I was very young, and felt invincible, and did not have any fear. During the dream, there were easier ways to get to where I was trying to get to, but I took the hard way because I wanted to challenge myself. I was not afraid, and in moments where I almost felt fear, or looked down, I recomposed myself and maintained confidence. I had known that confidence and strength were all I needed to get up on top of the rocks and onto the green land above. There was a moment when a rock I had climbed on fell after I passed it. When I watched it go down, I noticed the rock was red, and that some of the other rocks were wobbly. Again, this happened after a moment of fear, so I just tried not to be afraid, and found myself climbing with ease. In my teenage years, I climbed many things (I like to climb things!) knowing that it was dangerous. The experience in real life is the same as that in the dream, however in the dream the rock was much much bigger, and the highest thing I had ever climbed. I was by myself, but then I suddenly noticed that about five old people were following me. I was very afraid for them, and knew that they should not be following the way I was going. So I told them that if they climbed the area to the left they would get on land safer than if they were do as I did. They listened to me and did as I said. There was also a bridge that I was trying to get to, and I watched the older people reach it before I did.

Break down of the symbolism in this dream: (according to dreammoods.com)

Elderly
"To see an elderly person in your dream, represents wisdom or spiritual power. Pay attention to the message or advise that they are conveying you. They help provide life answers and solutions to your problems and try to guide you toward the right direction"

Rock
"To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointment"

Red
"Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions."

Bridge
"To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one. If you fall off the bridge and into the water, then the dream indicates that you are letting your emotions hold you back and prevent you from moving forward. Alternatively, the bridge may indicate that you are trying to "bridge" or connect two things together."

Sea
"To see the sea in your dream, represents your unconscious and your transition between your unconscious and conscious. It also often represents your emotions."

The meaning of this dream is relatively simple. The sea, representing emotions, is a symbol of a state of mind that I am trying to get away from, to reach something higher. It is down below, almost a metaphor for the physical world. Going down there would mean death. In my pursuit of attaining something higher/better, there are indeed moments of fear, represented by the falling red rock. It is possible that if I am afraid I will not make it, and will stay primarily in the physical world, which is one of personality, material things, and ego. I am currently trying to balance both worlds, that of the spiritual/immaterial and that of the material/personality. I very much want to attain a higher state and a higher understanding, overcome my worldly desires while still being able to respect that part of myself, and allow myself to be involved in that world without being "attached" to it. The old people following me, I feel that they are a symbol of wisdom, of a higher force that is watching out for me. However, I told them to go away, play it safe. I believe that this means, even if that higher force wants to travel with me, I must experience having faith in it without having evidence that it is there. This is a metaphysical journey that I have to carry out on my own, knowing that this wisdom/force will be there at the bridge waiting for me when I am ready to cross it. The bridge is a symbol of what is ahead for me. Once I have "climbed the rock" I will be ready to embark on the bridge, and cross over from that struggle to something better, which is also something that I am yet to know of or experience.

The Glass Store.

In this dream I was on my way to meet a friend. I stopped by this store that was filled with different kinds of glasswares, mostly antique and collectibles, like depression, cranberry and carnival glass. Having a vague interest in these kinds of glass in waking life, I decided to step into the store, even though it meant I would be late in meeting my friend. On this chair, that was just there to furnish the store there was a life-sized doll. There was a man waiting across from the doll for assistance from the store owner. The doll began to move, first slowly. It's legs were twitching. The man asked if I had seen the doll move. I said yes. Then, the face became slightly animated, and the doll began to foam at the mouth. It seemed sickly, as if it were dying, though ironically it seemed also that it was trying to come to life. The doll then spoke, noticing our confusion. It said that the energy that was giving it life was just the chi that is imposed on material items when trying to make something that replicates a living thing. It seemed annoyed with this phenomenon that it was attempting to explain to us. It's "life" phased out and it was motionless once more. I woke up.

According to dreammoods.com:

Doll
"To dream that a doll comes to life, signifies your desires to be someone else and escape from your present problems and responsibilities. Dolls may serve as a means to act out your wishes."

Glasswares
"To see a drinking glass in your dream, signifies healing, rejuvenation, and healing. Alternatively, it indicates a transcendence into a realm of higher consciousness. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Do you see life from an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. Consider also the contents of the glass. To see a broken glass in your dream, denotes feelings of powerlessness, guilt and/or low self-esteem. Perhaps you feel unqualified or inadequate in dealing with a situation."

I believe that being in the glass store, which had a very ethereal feel to it, was a symbolic attempt at sacrificing the world of responsibilities by not meeting my friend, to take time for something important. I believe the glass store represents my current desire to connect to something spiritual, which is manifested in the doll (which I somehow, even in the dream, knew was myself; she resembled me) by the doll, a material object, coming to life. I do not think in this dream that the doll means that I want to be someone else, but I do believe the doll represents my external personality, possibly meaning that I *feel* currently, like someone else and disconnected from my true self. She may also represent my outward personality, or ego, which is momentarily tiresome for me, which explains why the doll became frustrated when she was talking about her "animation"; a symbol of my current feelings on "living." Because I have not had enough time for reflection or spiritual pursuits, she represents my frustration in my involvement in the material world.

Henry Fuseli

This is The Nightmare, a visual commentary on the phenomenon of sleep paralysis.

This is The Old Hag, referring to the legend of the succubus.

Dream Entry #3: Fishy

The other night I had a dream that I was in my old kitchen, changing the water in the bowl of a fish I used to have. I have never in my life dreamt about this fish, so the fact that I have accessed it through my subconscious would seem to mean something. The fish in the dream, however, was not my fish that I used to have, Fattie Herbie. It was a different fish, and I remember respecting it as a life form without any specific attachment to it. As I changed the water, I dropped the fish, and it was flopping around. If you've ever had a fish, and changed the water, this is disturbing to see, yet it is not hard to catch the fish and put it back, so it isn't that big of a deal. In this dream, I could not for the life of me catch the fish. I started to worry because the fish began to die. After some time, I finally caught the fish and put it back in the bowl. It is important to note also, that in the dream timing was correct. That means that I had remembered this fish from about ten years ago. In the dream I thought, "This fish's water has not been changed in ten years! I'm surprised he's not dead!" which indicates that this is an example of something from my extended past, or at least something from my recent past manifesting in a more obvious symbol that just so happened to be present in my life a long time ago. When I put the fish back in the bowl, it seemed fine, however there was something wrong with it. Half of the fish had fallen off. I started to freak out because I thought it was going to die. However, though the tail kind of floated around as if it was half of a fish, a new tail grew on the head of the goldfish and it was more complete and healthier than ever. The old tail just kind of swam around as if it was inferior.

According to my dream dictionary "The Dictionary of Dreams; 10,000 dreams interpreted", by Gustavus Hindman Miller:

Goldfish
"To dream of goldfish is a prognostic of many successful and pleasant adventures. For a young woman, this dream is indicative of a wealthy union with a pleasing man. If the fish are sick or dead, heavy disappointments will fall upon her."

Lately I have been contemplating a great deal on what I want, and what I want to focus on. The prospect, currently, of a romantic relationship is not a priority for me. Being used to being with someone romantically, what has been on the forefront of my mind is how strange relationships are, and how love is an intellectual and creative interpretation of a biological desire. I do not believe in soulmates, but I do believe that people cross eachother's paths, even romantically, for certain reasons. This is why sometimes we intuitively feel that for the moment, something seems incredibly right, but to accept the fact that it may not be a lasting thing is hard to do.

This dream could mean many things. The reason I was struggling so hard with something that should have been easy to catch, indicates my current emotions about a past relationship. I felt very connected to this person, and continually thought, "This feels so right, but it is not right." I could not reconcile the dueling emotions. Something that felt so incredibly right and perfect, I knew deep inside that it was wrong. Catching the fish, which should have been easy, was impossible. Finally, I was able to catch it, and put it back in the bowl, where I had to nurse it back to health. The disembodied tail is another aspect to this dream.

According to the same dictionary:

Tail
"To dream of only seeing the tail of a beast, indicates annoyances where pleasure should have been assured."

This makes an incredible amount of sense. I feel that it represents the aforementioned emotion. I wanted to be happy with someone, and it seemed like things were great, but suddenly the dynamic between myself and the other person was plagued by miscommunication and unfavorable/irreconcilable feelings. The goldfish, however grew a new tail, and was again perfectly healthy. This could indicate that someone else more favorable may come into my life, and the disembodied tail will die, meaning my preoccupation with this relationship/person may come to an end, or that this same relationship will shed itself of its negative aspects and be reborn in a positive manner.