The Alien

Last night, after some serious meditation/speaking with the Universe, I had some pretty intense dreams. In the first dream I had cut off the top of my finger and told a friend of mine to call 911. An hour had gone by and sometimes I had hit the top of my finger and it almost fell off! I was getting very frustrated, suspecting that my friend had not even called 911. For this reason I called my mother. My mother then called 911 again, and they came immediately. They wanted me to go into a stretcher and I refused, I just wanted them to fix my finger. For some reason, I was hysterical and thought I would bleed to death. The EMTs thought I was overreacting.

According to dreammoods.com:

Fingers
"To see your fingers in your dream, symbolizes physical and mental dexterity. They indicate manipulation, action and non-verbal communication. If you dream that your fingers fall off, then it suggests that you are letting a situation dominate you or dictate how you behave. You may be literally losing your grip on life. To dream that you are crossing your fingers, symbolize optimism, success, luck and hope.

To dream that your fingers are injured or have been chopped off, denote your anxieties about your ability to accomplish some demanding task or perform in some waking situation.
To dream of a finger pointing at you, signifies self-blame or guilt. Perhaps you have done something and are afraid that you will be exposed.

To dream of your index finger or forefinger, symbolizes the number one. It also signifies authority, direction, and judgment. Your dream may be trying to make a point."

I believe that that this part of the dream indicates that a part of me, my judgement, my intuition, is currently impaired. It is true that I have been feeling like I do not know what to do in certain situations. It is like something telling me that the "point" is lost (it was my index finger). This is probably why I was hysterical in hurting my finger or thinking I was going to die. The fact that sometimes it was on and intact and would get hit or pushed off, I think suggests that I am going back and forth between my perception on certain situations regarding my art career and my plan for the future. I need to make a decision and stick with it. I also believe that 911 not showing up suggests that no one is going to help me succeed in my path, especially the person who initially called 911, and that it is a solitary journey in which I will meet people along the way, but eventually they must go down their own path, and I must continue on mine. I do not feel the need to go through the archetypes of "911" and "mother" because I feel I know what they represent. I do believe that because my mother is my mother, she is a more reliable source and will always be there to help me, hence the difference between family and fleeting friendships.

I also believe that the EMTs reaction to me suggests that I have nothing to worry about, which considering what I truly believe, is right. I have been in worse, the worst, situations and after pulling myself out have always found a better life.

Then, my alarm went off. I had wanted to get up, but something told me to go back to sleep and do more dreaming! I have never experienced this feeling before. So I went back to sleep.

I started to have one of those normal mishmash dreams. In the dream I was learning about brewing (my last job was being a server in a brewery) and I was like, maybe I should be a brewer! Which honestly, is not something I want to do. Then I talked to the brewer about a chocolate I had made, that I wanted him to pair with one of the beers that he brewed. He completely snubbed it, and I was offended. After this, I was back at home, and received a long letter from a boy that I had hung out with about a year ago. We only hung out for the day, because he was in the navy and had to go back to Hawaii. I was completely shocked because it was a long letter and it was decorated and hand written. He had told me that he made a video about people who cut themselves (weird) and wanted me to see it. I was *really* excited because even though our encounter was nothing I had thought he had forgotten about me.

(It is important to note that I had met this person after consulting the tarot with a question when I was single, "What lies in my future in terms of love?" and I received a card that indicated travel overseas. I wondered if I would meet someone who was either a sailor or who travelled here from another country. Turns out this person was in the navy.)

When I went to work in the brewery the next day, this person there had posted up the letter, except it was taped on the other side of a window behind the bar, and had beer descriptions written on the other side. I could not figure out whether or not this person did it to advertise a new beer, or to have the other side (the letter) available to everyone who worked there to make fun of me.

Then suddenly, as I was experiencing all these conflicting feelings, the room went dark. There was an alien on top of stairs that went down into the basement. It looked tired, almost like it was dying. I asked if he/she was an alien, and the alien nodded its head. Then I asked for everyone else who was there to step forward and take off their shirts so I could see that they were human. For some reason I felt like my cousin was there. I don't recall anyone actually stepping forward, except for in my imagination. The alien, as if in response to me asking people to do this, reached it's arm over to my head (while still lying down) and extracted DNA! As I recall the DNA was yellow.

According to dreammoods.com:

Chocolate:
"To see chocolate in your dream, signifies love, celebration and self-reward. It also suggests that you may be indulging in too many excesses and need to practice some restraint.
To eat chocolate in your dream, indicates that you are embracing your own sensuality."

I believe that the chocolate in my dream, being something that I created, that I was eating, that I thought was delicious, being rejected, is my own self perception and my own self-love, but perhaps too my own indulgent behavior. Perhaps the fact that it was rejected was someone in a position of authority telling me that I am focusing my attention on too much distracting/indulgent behavior and that I need to minimize my pleasures/desires. This I agree with. It is important to consider the fact that I have been looking for a new job, one of the jobs was as a tour guide for a brewery. The last place I worked was a brewery. The person who rejected my chocolate was a person in position of power in a place that I was considering working. The brewery is a symbol of work. I cannot complete the work I desire, or get the job I desire, in a brewery, if I am focused on eating and making chocolate. I feel like this indicates I need more focus on what I choose to do as a career choice, or at least focus my time better between all of my artistic endeavors.

Two of my past "crushes" appeared in this dream. I believe that their presence represents my confusion about love. It also represents that I may be seeking an ideal in love. However, I do believe this dream could be telling me to focus on my work, and that the appearance of past crushes representing love could be telling me that now is not the time to focus my energy on a relationship.

Aliens
"To dream that you are an alien, symbolizes the undiscovered part of yourself. Your manifestation as an alien may be your way of "escaping" from reality. Dreams of this nature also symbolize your outlandish ideas and your wild imagination.

To dream that you are being abducted by aliens, indicates your fear of your changing surroundings or your fear of losing your home and family. You feel that your space and/or privacy is being invaded.
To see aliens in your dream, signify that you are having difficulties adapting and adjusting to your new surroundings. You are feeling "alienated" and disconnected. You may also be having difficulties with how to handle or deal with a certain situation or person. On a psychological level, seeing aliens represent an encounter with an unfamiliar or neglected aspect of your own self."

This alien has appeared to me three times in my life, and I do believe it is the same one/portrays the same meaning. When I first encountered this "alien" it was in a basement as a child. It was an incredibly strange dream, but with the same scenario. The "normal" dream had stopped and everything went dark. I was connecting to the alien. In this dream I was not afraid. It was a beautiful feeling in which I held my hands up to the hands of the alien and there was an immense feeling of energy. It has taken me years to understand what this dream means. I believe it was my initial connection to the inner "true" self that is alien to most people.

Coming a long way in life, spiritually and mentally, as an adult I feel that for a long time I was finally strengthening my intuition, my connection with others and the universal whole, and the acceptance of the existence of that which can never be known. I have recently lost this connection in an erratic attempt to achieve too many things at one time, painting, music, jewelry making, writing. This is still work, but it is work that requires inspiration, and I was working too much and not focusing on living and being in the moment and waiting for inspiration to influence my work.

My second encounter with this alien was a few months ago. I had an out of body experience in which I went into my living room, and there was an alien standing at the door, as if he had just walked in and lived there. I was terrified. In a colossal vibratory voice I shouted and pointed at him, "GO!". The alien sighed, and walked out. I felt sad, knowing that the alien was not a threat to me.

My third encounter - this dream, the alien was on top of a stairway leading up from a basement.

Basement
"To dream that you are in a basement, symbolizes your unconscious mind and intuition. The appearance of the basement is an indication of your unconscious state of mind and level of satisfaction."

The alien has reached the top of the stairs, from subconsciousness into consciousness, yet it is fatigued and dying, and I am still terrified of it though I know it is benign. My request for others to expose themselves so that I can make sure they are human and not alien, I believe represents my desire to be exposed as my true self in connection with this "alien." It is as if I am expecting other people to reveal themselves as well so I can except this alien within me. When I asked of this as a symbol (nudity), the alien responded in its own way, in a sense saying, if you are going to ask others to be naked then I will extract your true self and honesty as well. He then reached over, despite his present condition and took the yellow DNA out of my head.

DNA
"To dream about DNA, suggests that you need to focus your energy. Carefully plot out your goals so you can move ahead in life. Learn from the negativity that you have experienced. DNA symbolizes life, humanity and science."

This makes sense. The alien was extracting from me what I was truly "made of." I am not reaching my full potential.

Yellow
"The color yellow has both positive and negative connotations. If the dream is a pleasant one, then the color yellow is symbolic of intellect, energy, agility, happiness, harmony, and wisdom. On the other hand, if the dream is an unpleasant one, then the color represents deceit, disgrace, betrayal, cowardice and sickness. You have a fear or an inability to make a decision or to take action. Your desire to please others is at the risk of sacrificing your own needs and happiness. As a result, you are experiencing many setbacks."

I believe that the color yellow in the DNA represents both sides. I have a fear of accessing my true wisdom, potential, hence my real self is appearing as though it is dying, though I do believe it's ability to reach over from afar and connect to me to show me my true potential represents that it can never die, it is only communicating with me that it is losing energy and in a sense in a state of stagnancy. But the fact that it is on the top of the stairs and able to connect to me is a big sign that I am on the brink of some serious realization!

*I also dreamt that I was watching the news and the troops came home from Iraq, but there was something awry about it.

The Butterfly - Waking Life

Today I found a dead butterly - a yellow monarch. It was so in tact I wasn't sure it was dead. I picked it up by the wing. Its entrails grasped to a single blade of grass as if I was ripping it further away from life. They sprang back to its body, retreating to an illusion of wholeness. For one horrific moment I had still thought it was alive. Examining its wounds, it had seemed that someone, out of love or play, a cat maybe, or perhaps a bird expressing failed predatory intention, had pressed it gently in the center, so that it had burst at both ends of its fragile body. Every part of it was beautiful even in death.

My first thought was to pluck its wings from the body. And then a sense of horror came over me. How could I have even thought to benefit so superficially by such a small and exquisite death? Something from within screamed, NO, listen. And I could not bring myself to rip its wings from its body. It seemed an atrocity worse than murder. I dug a hole on the sidewalk turf, and I buried it so that it may be one with the earth.

A few weeks prior to this find I had dreamt of a very large caterpillar, in which I had cut off the head with a scissors and immediately felt sad, and appalled at myself for doing so. For I had ruined its sole purpose in life, to become a butterfly.

*About a month later I came across an injured monarch. What these encounters (or the simple fact that I am unconsciously noticing these things), mean, are essentially what they mean to me in the interconnectivity of the Universe. For example, this butterfly, whether encountered in reality or dreamt about represents whatever meaning I *choose* to place on it, in the same way the Egyptians made a symbol out of the Scarab, or the Dung Beetle. Forming this connection strengthens the personal archetype I've created and imposes the power of myth upon this creature (the butterfly) and through this connection and belief, the meaning of the butterfly becomes more real, so to speak.

The Baby

I will not analyze this dream right now, but for the sake of remembering it will recount it.

In the play that I just finished with, as art director, there was a puppet. This puppet was a grandmother puppet.

In the dream, I was walking down the sidewalk. This woman, who was wearing a black bonnet, and looked like this grandmother puppet, in terms of presence and dress, was pushing a stroller. She had tried to leave that stroller there, and take another empty stroller that she had planted behind me, so that when I turned around to see her (as she struck me as strange) I would see her going off with what looked like the same stroller. When I turned back around, she had left the previous stroller there with a baby in it. Naturally, I freaked out. The baby was extremely small. It was the size of my hand. I picked it up, and didn't know what to do with it, but I knew I had to protect it. I was searching for something, and it was raining and cold. I knew I needed to find shelter and clothing for it. Then, I ran into this man, who was unlike anyone I know in real life. I trusted him to take care of the baby, well I didn't really trust him, but for some reason I let him take it anyway. He mistreated it A LOT. He treated it like an animal that could fend for itself. He put it down at one point in this construction area that was made of wood, and the baby got splinters and started bleeding.

The baby, though harm was inflicted upon it, never flinched, or acted as though it was in pain. Ultimately, I was able to get away from the man and call the police. When 911 finally came, the baby turned into a kitten. I still cared for it, but not as much. It was as if the baby's humanity had been destroyed, and because it was treated like an animal, it was too late when help came, it had turned into an animal. The EMTs still tried to help it anyway, when they offered it help, it turned into a vicious dog/rodent type thing and would not let anyone near it. I was very sad for it, for it had started off as a little human baby and ultimately became a lost cause.

Addition:

Let us recount the archetypal imagery in this dream.

According to dreammoods.com:

Baby Carriage
"To see a baby carriage in your dream, symbolizes your desire for a family or longing for a baby. If the baby carriage is empty, then it indicates sadness or an unfulfilled goal. Alternatively, it suggests that you need to cater to the needs of your own inner child."

This is applicable to the dream in the sense that what was taken away was an empty carriage, by part of a successful project I had reached all my goals in. This emptiness or fear of not accomplishing things was taken way, and in its place was left a child, however small. I believe that this child represents myself in the sense that it was new, and very small. It was something that was born in me upon the accomplishment of my goals.

Baby
"To see a baby in your dream, signifies innocence, warmth and new beginnings. Babies symbolize something in your own inner nature that is pure, vulnerable, helpless and/or uncorrupted. If you find a baby in your dream, then it suggests that you have acknowledged your hidden potential. If you dream that you forgot you had a baby, then it suggests that you are trying hide your own vulnerabilities; You do not want to let others know of your weaknesses. Alternatively, forgetting about a baby, represents an aspect of yourself that you have abandoned or put aside due to life's changing circumstances. The dream may serve as a reminder that it is time for you to pick up that old interest, hobby, or project again.

To dream of an extremely small baby, symbolizes your helplessness and your fears of letting others become aware of your vulnerabilities and incompetence. You may be afraid to ask for help and as a result tend to take matters into your own hands."

This symbol applies in the sense that it represents my fear of my own potential and my fear of failure. Applicable to the project I had just finished, among other things, I feel that it represents the fact that I did have to take on many things myself, and needed help, but nobody could help me in the capacity that I had needed. This is not to say I did not have help, but I took on too much work for one person to handle.

Cat
To see a cat in your dream, symbolizes an independent spirit, feminine sexuality, creativity, and power. It also represents misfortune and bad luck. The dream symbol has different significance depending on whether you are a cat lover or not. The cat could indicate that someone is being deceitful or treacherous toward you. If the cat is aggressive, then it suggests that you are having problems with the feminine aspect of yourself. If you are afraid of the cat in your dream, then it suggests that you are fearful of the feminine. The dream may be a metaphor for "cattiness" or someone who is "catty" and malicious. If you see a cat with no tail, then it signifies a loss of independence and lack of autonomy.

Kitten
"To see a white kitten in your dream, signifies deceit and trouble.
To see non-white or soiled kittens, indicates trouble ahead for you."

In retrospect, I do believe that this means situations I since have gotten myself into, when my intuition told me to take a different path. Which ironically brings us to:

Dog
"If the dog is vicious and/or growling, then it indicates some inner conflict within yourself. It may also indicate betrayal and untrustworthiness. If the dog is dead or dying, then it means a loss of a good friend or a deterioration of your instincts. Also consider common notions associated with the word dog, such as loyalty ("man's best friend") and to be "treated like a dog"."

Overall, considering such obvious archetypes applicable to my every day life, I believe that the dog is a culmination of all of these symbols, in a sense, the end of things representing that ever symbol prior was a factor that I needed to take serious heed of.

The Ocean

I had a dream that I was in the ocean. I often have these dreams, but usually the waves are overpowering. I enjoy it when they are overpowering, and I am always able to handle them. This dream was the first time the ocean was different, I feel like it has something to do with the oil spill; or perhaps that in relation as a macroscopic symbol in the world of my current emotions. The water was very dirty. I was walking around in it trying to find a spot that didn't have a lot of trash and black sludgy seaweed. Everyone else seemed to be enjoying it. I wasn't catching any waves like the others. It seemed pointless to be there.

But in all the trash there was this beautiful little snail shell that shined from the ocean floor. When I went to pick it up I realized it still had a snail in it, and this made me even more delighted. I thought about that snail, and how it was a life, just clinging on to a little rock. And there is a part that I wrote in my story "The Human and the Universe," about snails and their shells. I think that the dream means I've been preoccupied with appearances, superficiality, and have not been paying attention to my inner self, and who I really am, and what I really want. This is what the ocean means according to dreammoods.com:

Ocean
To see an ocean in your dream, represents the state of your emotions and feelings. It is indicative of spiritual refreshment, tranquility and renewal. Alternatively, the dream means that you are feeling empowered and unhindered. You have a positive outlook in life and are not limited by anything. If you are sailing across the ocean, then it signifies new found freedom and independence. You are showing great courage. If the ocean is rough, then the dream represents some emotional turmoil. You are doing your best to handle life's ups and downs.

This is what trash means:

garbage indicates that you are not taking responsibility for something.
To see piles of garbage in your dream, represent rejected or unwanted aspects of yourself.
To find something valuable in the garbage, suggests that you can find value in the least expected of places. Do not undervalue or underestimate things. The dream may also be telling you that one man's trash is another man's treasure. Perhaps you need to view things from a different perspective.

Before I went to bed, I asked the Universe (my version of what others call God) to send me a sign on where I need to go, and what I need to be doing. I think it's asking me to start changing my mind and my outlook first and foremost.

The Trees

I haven't had many dreams in a while. This is because I'm going through a difficult period and filling it with pleasures of the physical world. I am ignoring myself. I had a dream the other night, when I had asked for guidance, that was definitely a tell-tale sign of the power I have within myself. Once again I have felt left for dead from that thing I call the universe; that thing that others call God.

In this dream I was with a good friend of mine. There were giant evergreen trees that had drooping branches. I asked my friend why the branches were drooping and she said that we could fix them. I told her that was impossible. She answered that it wasn't, and that all we had to do was lift one branch, and then just ask them or tell them to go up. So I did this, and I said, "Go up!" and all the branches of all the trees lifted up to reach the sky!

According to dreammoods.com:

Evergreen
To see evergreen trees in your dream, signify wealth, happiness, immortality, high aspirations, and knowledge. The dream represents the cycle of life and may be trying to offer you hope in the midst of despair. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor to be "ever green" as in to be more environmentally conscious.

I believe that in this dream the trees were representative of my current situation, mentally and in my position in life. I feel that recognizing the power to lift the trees is something trying to tell me that I have to once again access that divine power within to change my life. It is telling me that anything is possible.

The Rock

Last night I had a dream that I was climbing a rock by the sea. I used to do this a lot when I was little. My friends and I would go really far out and in retrospect it was probably dangerous (but you can't keep kids from enjoying their youth!). It reminded me of this, because back then even though the rocks were high, I was very young, and felt invincible, and did not have any fear. During the dream, there were easier ways to get to where I was trying to get to, but I took the hard way because I wanted to challenge myself. I was not afraid, and in moments where I almost felt fear, or looked down, I recomposed myself and maintained confidence. I had known that confidence and strength were all I needed to get up on top of the rocks and onto the green land above. There was a moment when a rock I had climbed on fell after I passed it. When I watched it go down, I noticed the rock was red, and that some of the other rocks were wobbly. Again, this happened after a moment of fear, so I just tried not to be afraid, and found myself climbing with ease. In my teenage years, I climbed many things (I like to climb things!) knowing that it was dangerous. The experience in real life is the same as that in the dream, however in the dream the rock was much much bigger, and the highest thing I had ever climbed. I was by myself, but then I suddenly noticed that about five old people were following me. I was very afraid for them, and knew that they should not be following the way I was going. So I told them that if they climbed the area to the left they would get on land safer than if they were do as I did. They listened to me and did as I said. There was also a bridge that I was trying to get to, and I watched the older people reach it before I did.

Break down of the symbolism in this dream: (according to dreammoods.com)

Elderly
"To see an elderly person in your dream, represents wisdom or spiritual power. Pay attention to the message or advise that they are conveying you. They help provide life answers and solutions to your problems and try to guide you toward the right direction"

Rock
"To dream that you are climbing a steep rock, signifies struggles, obstacles, and disappointment"

Red
"Red is an indication of raw energy, force, vigor, intense passion, aggression, power, courage and passion. The color red has deep emotional and spiritual connotations. Consider the phrase "seeing red" to denote anger.
Red is also the color of danger, shame, sexual impulses and urges. Perhaps you need to stop and think about your actions."

Bridge
"To dream that you are crossing a bridge, signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage. If the bridge is over water, then it suggests that your transition will be an emotional one. If you fall off the bridge and into the water, then the dream indicates that you are letting your emotions hold you back and prevent you from moving forward. Alternatively, the bridge may indicate that you are trying to "bridge" or connect two things together."

Sea
"To see the sea in your dream, represents your unconscious and your transition between your unconscious and conscious. It also often represents your emotions."

The meaning of this dream is relatively simple. The sea, representing emotions, is a symbol of a state of mind that I am trying to get away from, to reach something higher. It is down below, almost a metaphor for the physical world. Going down there would mean death. In my pursuit of attaining something higher/better, there are indeed moments of fear, represented by the falling red rock. It is possible that if I am afraid I will not make it, and will stay primarily in the physical world, which is one of personality, material things, and ego. I am currently trying to balance both worlds, that of the spiritual/immaterial and that of the material/personality. I very much want to attain a higher state and a higher understanding, overcome my worldly desires while still being able to respect that part of myself, and allow myself to be involved in that world without being "attached" to it. The old people following me, I feel that they are a symbol of wisdom, of a higher force that is watching out for me. However, I told them to go away, play it safe. I believe that this means, even if that higher force wants to travel with me, I must experience having faith in it without having evidence that it is there. This is a metaphysical journey that I have to carry out on my own, knowing that this wisdom/force will be there at the bridge waiting for me when I am ready to cross it. The bridge is a symbol of what is ahead for me. Once I have "climbed the rock" I will be ready to embark on the bridge, and cross over from that struggle to something better, which is also something that I am yet to know of or experience.

The Glass Store.

In this dream I was on my way to meet a friend. I stopped by this store that was filled with different kinds of glasswares, mostly antique and collectibles, like depression, cranberry and carnival glass. Having a vague interest in these kinds of glass in waking life, I decided to step into the store, even though it meant I would be late in meeting my friend. On this chair, that was just there to furnish the store there was a life-sized doll. There was a man waiting across from the doll for assistance from the store owner. The doll began to move, first slowly. It's legs were twitching. The man asked if I had seen the doll move. I said yes. Then, the face became slightly animated, and the doll began to foam at the mouth. It seemed sickly, as if it were dying, though ironically it seemed also that it was trying to come to life. The doll then spoke, noticing our confusion. It said that the energy that was giving it life was just the chi that is imposed on material items when trying to make something that replicates a living thing. It seemed annoyed with this phenomenon that it was attempting to explain to us. It's "life" phased out and it was motionless once more. I woke up.

According to dreammoods.com:

Doll
"To dream that a doll comes to life, signifies your desires to be someone else and escape from your present problems and responsibilities. Dolls may serve as a means to act out your wishes."

Glasswares
"To see a drinking glass in your dream, signifies healing, rejuvenation, and healing. Alternatively, it indicates a transcendence into a realm of higher consciousness. Is the glass half-full or half-empty? Do you see life from an optimistic or pessimistic point of view. Consider also the contents of the glass. To see a broken glass in your dream, denotes feelings of powerlessness, guilt and/or low self-esteem. Perhaps you feel unqualified or inadequate in dealing with a situation."

I believe that being in the glass store, which had a very ethereal feel to it, was a symbolic attempt at sacrificing the world of responsibilities by not meeting my friend, to take time for something important. I believe the glass store represents my current desire to connect to something spiritual, which is manifested in the doll (which I somehow, even in the dream, knew was myself; she resembled me) by the doll, a material object, coming to life. I do not think in this dream that the doll means that I want to be someone else, but I do believe the doll represents my external personality, possibly meaning that I *feel* currently, like someone else and disconnected from my true self. She may also represent my outward personality, or ego, which is momentarily tiresome for me, which explains why the doll became frustrated when she was talking about her "animation"; a symbol of my current feelings on "living." Because I have not had enough time for reflection or spiritual pursuits, she represents my frustration in my involvement in the material world.